What a day. Driving to work it struck me that I had fallen into a routine again. I got up, went to work, came home, relaxed, next day, start again. However, this thought brought me much joy. Back in May, June, and even some of July I was afraid of never having a “normal” routine again. My life had been kicked out from under me as I knew it and I remember lying in that hospital bed and being scared and weak and missing the simple “aggravations” of everyday life. Well I’ve got them back and I’m glad! Sure my routine also includes injecting myself every morning with medicine, talking to my neurologist on a regular basis to keep possible flare-ups in check, getting MRIs every 4 months, and so on so forth. But I’m alive. Not only that, I’m living! I’m planning for the future, have goals and dreams, a career I intend to build upon, and amazing people that fill up my days. It was looking forward to these things that kept my chin up during the unknown and tests when I was hospitalized. And here I am, where I feared I’d never be again, able to forget my big problems and get carried away by a simple little day.
Then, there was an assembly at work at the elementary school and an old student spoke about how he, at 13, went to the ER after a football game and a cat scan showed something worrisome. 3 surgeries and much chemo later, he’s alive and well and sharing his story of hope and strength. Meanwhile, one of my co-workers is sitting by me who went through cancer recently, survived it and recovered as well. Life is funny. It throws a lot of shit at us. But we’re sturdy folk. The human spirit amazes me. God’s love and strength amazes me. The fact I still have a story to tell, though not surprising ;), amazes me. One thing the kid said stuck out to me the most cause I said the same thing, and still do. ”It could have been worse.” When you survive a trauma and are able to function again, that sticks number one in your mind, because you were worse, you know how bad it can be. You were lucky and didn’t get stuck there, but when life slaps you and the sting fades, you never forget that slap. You never forget sitting on your ass, lost at the bottom of that well, holding on to that flickering sliver of light. You can imagine what it’s like to not have that light, you almost didn’t. But you did. We have quite a bit to be thankful for. I came home tonight and bawled my eyes out in my car out of thankfulness and joy and just pure relief! Life is good and Im glad I’ve got it. Every “simple” day I get to enjoy the aggravations and serve my purpose. :)